Fast forward............eh hem.....22 years!! Twenty-two years. Geesh! There were times when I could have screamed and did at God! There were times when I was at my limit with waiting. There were times when I had a lot going on and didn't think about the plight of orphans. I do remember, at times, the intensity of my frustration with the waiting. Through this waiting, God taught me that this was not MY journey. This was His journey. IF it was going to happen, it was going to be because HE brought us to this journey. It would have nothing to do with me and certainly not because I was good enough. He would take us on this journey only when it was evident it was His plan. There was a lot of ugliness within my heart (and still is). I was impatient and demanding. All the while, God was teaching me about Him. He was patient, loving and gentle. All of which I lacked. Thinking back, I must have been a pretty hard case to have to wait 22 years to get to the end of myself. :) All the while there was a tugging and longing that I believed (and still do) God placed there, otherwise my selfishness would certainly have taken hold and we wouldn't be where we are today. It is only by His grace!!
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Our adoption journey
Wow! What a crazy year it has been! I am going to attemp to document our adoption journey, how it began and how I feel God led us down this path. I pray I can capture how He has worked and that I never come across as taking credit for any of His thoughts and goodness.
I was 16 years old. Pretty self centered and focused on growing up to be rich. I often would think about what I wanted to do with my life and I knew two things. I wanted people to like me and I wanted to be rich to purchase all the material things I wanted. : ) Pretty sad state I was in.
Christ captured my heart and He began to change me from the inside. I remember watching a documentary on orphans in Romania. The pictures are still vivid in my mind. Infants stacked on meat carts, 5 to a shelf like produce in a grocery store. Except these were live babies and my heart broke for them. Toddlers stared out from their crib void of emotion and reluctant to be held. In an instant, God started transforming this hard self-centered heart to a heart that broke for His children. Suddenly I wanted to help. I wanted to be part of the solution. This began the journey of finding where God was leading.
I was 16 years old. Pretty self centered and focused on growing up to be rich. I often would think about what I wanted to do with my life and I knew two things. I wanted people to like me and I wanted to be rich to purchase all the material things I wanted. : ) Pretty sad state I was in.
Christ captured my heart and He began to change me from the inside. I remember watching a documentary on orphans in Romania. The pictures are still vivid in my mind. Infants stacked on meat carts, 5 to a shelf like produce in a grocery store. Except these were live babies and my heart broke for them. Toddlers stared out from their crib void of emotion and reluctant to be held. In an instant, God started transforming this hard self-centered heart to a heart that broke for His children. Suddenly I wanted to help. I wanted to be part of the solution. This began the journey of finding where God was leading.
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